In Fear of "Fear"

13:Fear Is Real, the newest reality show not yet on the air sounds like psycho killer's porn. I mean, really. Let's get 13 people and see how many of them wet their pants in 60 minutes of airtime.

The premise is that each episode will be based on a different horror movie. So I guess if your dream was to be stuck in some horror movie, this should be right up your alley. Hey, maybe they'll do 30 Days of Night. (For those of you who haven't watched 30 Days of Night, it is, without question the most gruesome vampire movie I have ever watched. Make that, ever witnessed. It is a real blood bath, which takes place in a small Alaskan town during their annual month without sun, i.e., 30 Days of Night.) They can take these poor saps up to the Alaska or the Antarctic and chase them down like dogs. The ones with their jugular still intact at the end of the hour, get's the money! They don't even need a bunch of film crews. They can shoot it just like that big blood bath scene via helicopter. At the bottom of the screen they can have the face of the contestant with the color of their jacket. That way we can tell them part and won't have to guess on arterial splatter! Hey--maybe I should start writing for TV!

Seriously, one of the promo's has some poor gal in a coffin. Hope these people have great insurance waivers and more lawyers than contestants. But I guess with Survivor loosing its appeal, the freaks at reality TV had to come up with something new. So, all you freaks out there that haven't gotten up the courage to move beyond your neighbors cats and puppies, maybe this show will give you some fun ideas.

It's a brave new world out there.

Why is there a commercial in the middle of my show?

I don't mind commercials. They are a necessary evil when it comes to network shows. You just assume will be a series of commercial breaks. But what is it with the commercials during the television show? What gives?

My first assumption is that they are punishing those of us with VCRs, DVRs and Tivo. So we fast-forward through the commercials. I still see them (for the most part), I just don't have to listen to them whine. But now I get a double dose of commercials with every show I watch--all right, not every show, but enough of them.

First it was Eureka, and their Degree ads. The fake infomercial were funny, maybe a but cool, definitely entertaining-the first time. And I got the product placement, even though it was a little over the top. Never mind that having an infomercial for a top-secret government think tank town was absurd. Why advertise the town of Eureka if it is supposed to be a big secret, right? OK, we'll play along. The infomercial was cute. The Degree ad on the back of the coveralls is annoying, but not the end of the world. But an entire episode based on Degree antiperspirant? Give me a flippin' break already. It wasn't that good a show, the product placement wasn't smooth, not like someone picking up a can of Coke and showing the label. They didn't even try. It was awful and so far, that was the only episode that was based on a product. So far. Which brings us to Lipstick Jungle.

Why is Victory Ford doing a commercial behind the scenes of her big fashion show/open house? Come on people, I know the show is fiction, but how about a little realism? Nobody says, "Her eyes are popping. She needs some Maybelline." Nobody talks that way! As if the huge Maybelline banner on the back wall wasn't enough, you have to throw us that ridiculous line. Why not something like....

"Her eye makeup doesn't pop. Try that new Maybelline eye shadow Nikko got for the gift bags. That color will go great with the dress." Or her skin tone. Or whatever! And by the way, the woman was so dark I couldn't even see that she had any eye makeup on, or any makeup for that matter! What a huge dud! All I remember is that the line was preposterous in the extreme and I couldn't tell a difference from after the (insert name brand here) was applied! And to make matters worse, NBC in all their infinite wisdom (and utter lack of foresight) has decided to cancel the show. Of course this is only after moving it from Wednesdays to Friday nights. And let's face it, other than Ghost Whisperer, nothing survives there for long. Friday's are the last stop before getting the boot.

Well, that's all for now folks. Time to turn off the screen be it computer, TV or otherwise, put the dogs to bed and give the hubby a kiss.

...but before you go, my favorite "commercial", Eureka's A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.